[Nocturne No. 20 in C sharp minor]

it made me feel uncertain
about whether I’m standing
in woods or the street or
inside Nocturne No. 20 in C sharp minor
wherever it was it shouldered me in a spot
unsettling like a dislocation
as part of an immense mission
for surprises doubts and anguish
relocating me in a second
from the street to chords of hurt
misplaced and misspelled faces
making me walk and walk and walk through
the entire nightmarish woods and
the darkness of the past
to face their horror
in distant disappearing

between the opening and shutting off the house’s entrance
the love we once fancied
including a selection of trials and pins of laughter
moans its concluding little confusions
it coincides with the whistle of the liner passing by
on an old exhibition of distinguishing photographs
strange movements on strange pictures on different places
we might have altogether already forgot
we sit as Russians do before long voyages
still not sure why and where or should we
there occurred the influence of boiling water
singing a song of hesitant milk as a preparation to
our finale split
the pastry crumbles in the puzzlement
messaging our teacups
something we have no comprehension of
we traverse inside the journals through news
depicting ancient affairs and accidents
you and I once had
in the atmosphere apparently astonishing
to the world out there far far away
but not to you but not to me
not to any recollection of our unfortunate memories
there we endure sitting sipping loving our teas
as if
memorializing our
undivided blue disturbing
short best-seller

don’t despair about viscose, girl
it is second-best to silk
for summer usually dresses in the sunshine
with little laughter crumbles down a street
and your mind’s dress is murky

don’t agonize about colors, girl
red is second-best to blue
for summer ordinarily dresses in yellow
lacking an abrupt crying
and your mind’s dress is opaque
that does all the lacking

don’t suffer because of scents, girl
lilac is second-best to rose
while summer usually wears
yellowish blossom
of the linden tree

oh girl, the fragrance of yellowish blossoms
on remembrance lane
down to the long-gone street lights
of your little regrets

[svjetlana’s summer dresses]

[svjetlana/povratak.1]

opet je jutros prošla kroz moju sobu

i divlja ruža koju je usput dotakla
ne zaboravlja ni nju ni svoje sretno trnje

još za njom sijenke s krošnje iz susjedstva
u sobi ljeskaju

prokleto prekratke
da na tren podmetnu pod to ogromno sunce
svu tugu

koju život u nepopravljivom mraku

preko svega prelijeva

 

Ovde je neko ko drhti: Alehandra Pisarnik

Divna Popov

30. oktobra 1962, Alehandra Pisarnik je zapisala u svoj dnevnik:

“Don Kihot” – poglavlje XVIII – drugi deo: “… ali ono što je Don Kihota činilo najsrećnijim bila je veličanstvena tišina koja je prožimala kuću…”
Ne smem da zaboravim da počinim samoubistvo.
Ili bar da na neki način ne bude više onog “ja”, da nađem način da ne patim. Da ne osećam. Pre svega da ne osećam.

Deset godina posle toga umrla je od prekomerne doze barbiturata. U međuvremenu je napisala svoje najbolje pesme, neke od njih objavila u zbirkama Árbol de Diana(Dijanino drvo, 1962),El infierno musical(Muzički pakao, 1971), i La condesa sangrienta(Krvava grofica, 1971), između ostalog, i ostavila blago dela u nastajanju. Bio je to period velike poetske produktivnosti i unutrašnjih previranja, lične drame i crnog humora.

Tada, u oktobru 1962, kad se sa za nju tipičnom mračnom ironijom…

View original post 1,275 more words

[paljenje slika 2./rikošet]

kao što dijete kad se dosađuje
iz albuma izbacuje slike
nekoga koga ne voli više
ne voli ne voli više
baca ih u peć i vrti prstom kao
njegova mati kad mu govori
you’re a naughty boy
a very naughty boy Josh you are
tako si ti mene

zamirisala je soba na
na ljubičast na modar na budući
pepeo

uplamenili i udavili ožiljci
ne samo purpur na sivom na oplakanom
na najdražem na dalekom
pejsažu

ne samo
neurednu bjelinu ni ruzičastu daljinu
ni trešnjin cvijet ni bunare

već i srce što se utonuvši
u okrutan aprilski zvuk
jutrom dosađivalo
što nije znalo kako ni zašto ni
kada ni da li ikad
biće uhvaćeno
niti kuda tad

a mogao si poći za mnom
preko jedne ubistvene
recimo opasnosti
kao preko bola
za mojom drhtavom lakom
crninom
preko prvog preko posljednjeg
do negdje do nekog

ali nisi

vjerujući da te neće jednom sustići
okrajak aprila

okrutniji od oktobra
kad ništa nikakav
plod ni cvijet
nikakav lijek
za tu prozuklu za tu jezu za tu
u grlu u grudima u glavi grudobolju
nećeš imati

osim kao pri krvoliptanju prostrijelne
rane bolno buncanje
gdje si gdje si

[posljednji pogled 2.]

nije imao ljubav
jednog modrog majskog jutra
niz kaldrmsku strminu
lakonogo kao niz plesnu salu
u crvenim 
od laka cipelama
skliznula
je
i za njom
ulične breze zavijorenim
ljeskom lišća
kroz njegov treptav
pogled
do mjesta gdje kaldrma
naglo
uz nečiji procvao ružičnjak
kao kroz njegov iznemogao dah
zavija

i samo tad
kad su ciknule zrake
s crvene boje
kao ešarpa na majskom nebu
njen s tolike razdaljine na
minijaturnu šah-figuru
sveden lik
kada zaleluja
kada posve zamaknu
iza vrta iza ruža iza suza
iza svega na svekolikom svijetu

samo tada
smogao je hrabrost
ne da je zovne svjetlana svjetlana
već
okreni se niz đul baštu
iz sveg glasa
kao iznenadno kao

kao tek ispaljen metak
da zapjeva

 

pictures in flame

for all you can know
she never puts punctuation in her writings
so you might not grasp where she is appearing from
I could assist you instants by guiding you on a journey
on a black galloping appointments
here she is racing her inflamed dwelling
you can see her black silhouette in disturbing twists
similar to a bored kid who from an album expels the tranquil picture
of someone whom he does not like anymore
so did you with me she states
reached for the flame
stirring the affection
of yourself
and when all entirely went in flames
though you could have gone for my ashes
and convey it over your back over the danger
across across
combined some more venom same more hurt
guessing that once in the autumn

you would not discover himself
not having anything
to rely on
but the solely look back at the image on a picture
and tell where are you where are you

where